Guatemala

Well, I can't believe that I leave for Guatemala on Tuesday! This trip seemed like it was so far away but here it is, less than 72 hours away. A lot of my time lately has been spent thinking about, praying about and packing for my trip. I was trying to avoid that last minute panic stricken feeling I always seem to get as the departure date draws near by packing a little bit each day. Somehow, despite my efforts, I think I will still feel that wave of panic on Monday night. I have to be at the airport at 4:00 A.M. (What???? Are the birds even up at that time???? I am not at all ashamed to admit that I am NOT a morning person, never have, never will be!). Our flight leaves out of Milwaukee at 5:30 A.M. I will be frantically setting about 6 alarms (and of course will be checking them about 10 times each to avoid missing my flight!). Actually, who am I trying to kid about being able to sleep....I can never sleep when I have to be up for something as important as this.

Many emotions have been running through my head over these last 4 weeks regarding this mission trip. I'm excited because I have always wanted to do this and am finally getting the opportunity to go on a mission trip. I'm nervous because I've never left the U.S. and I'm not the greatest traveler in the world (slightly OCD, o.k., more than just SLIGHTLY OCD). I'm anxious because I have not been feeling the best due to some health issues that I have been dealing with. I have been trying to get adequate rest in preparation for my upcoming adventure.

Psalm 139:23 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts"


With that being said, I have had some intense conversations with God lately. I want this trip to be about God and doing His work. I need to put my own concerns in God's hands and realize that He will equip me with whatever it is that I will need. I have been praying that I will completely trust God 100% with every single aspect of this trip.....safe travel, preparing my heart as well as our other team members heart's for what God has planned for us, being gracious to all those that we meet, allowing God to work through us and not letting our own "personal" agendas interfere with the bigger plan, seeing others through God's eyes and not my own, not allowing any personal biases to cloud my thoughts, giving of myself freely for the greater good of the mission and those that we are serving.


[Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."]


Everyone that I have talked to that has gone on a mission trip has said that it is a wonderful and life-changing experience. I welcome the change and am grateful for this opportunity to be a servant of God!


Stay tuned......I return from my trip on July 31st..........

Francisco

His name is Francisco, he lives in Brazil and he is 10 years old. Who, might you ask, is this boy from Brazil???? He is my new "friend" that I met through Compassion International (thanks to Amy B and her inspirational blog! If you have never heard of it, I encourage you to check it out on the web @ http://www.compassion.com/ ). I am so excited to start corresponding with Francisco. I received my package of information from Compassion International in the mail the other day and couldn't wait to open it! In it was a photo of Francisco with a little bio on him. Along with that, was the necessary information that I needed regarding my sponsorship of Francisco (I wonder if he would mind me calling him Frankie???? Just a random thought...............).

I CANNOT wait to send him my first letter. I have it written out but I need to find a picture of myself, which I am having a bit of trouble finding. That may sound a little strange, but all of my pictures are with people (it's been a while since I've had my pictures taken at "Glamour Shots" - yeah, right! Juuuuuuuuust kidding. Anyone that knows me, knows that I would get hives if I went within 5 miles of one of those places. No offense to anyone that works there or has gone there to get photos taken. The results truly are "glamorous" from what I have seen. It takes me a year to go through a tube of mascara so that just shows you how "Glamorous" I am). As soon as I locate a picture, I will be heading to my nearest post office to mail my letter. After my post office run, I will be making my way to the store to get a frame for Francisco!

If any of you have been following my posts with the slightest bit of regularity, you'll know of my recent struggles with my inability to sleep at night and my restlessness over where God really wants me to be. Suffice it to say, I've slept like a baby since "meeting" Francisco. Coincidence??????? I think NOT!

God is good!

Psalm 139:23

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."

This Scripture totally jumped out at me today and pretty much sums up where I have been emotionally. I spent another sleep less night last night, unable to get my mind to just settle down so that I could drift off to sleep.

I'm not really sure what is going on right now. As mentioned in yesterday's post, I am in a very restless place. Why, I don't really know. I'm not under any stress due to the fact that I am on summer vacation (Thank God for that!). There hasn't been any major, life-changing events that have occurred recently so I'm really at a loss where these feelings of anxiousness and unrest are originating from. I am extremely perplexed at where I am right at this very moment in time. Patience is not a strong suit of mine so waiting around for some sort of answer or epiphany for why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling is very difficult for me.

I will continue to pray and wait as I work through this uncertain time............I know that we are operating on God's watch, not my own Timex so I will simply have to continue to wait and wait and wait and try to find time to squeeze in a nap to make up for my lost sleep. I would really love it if He could shoot me an e-mail or comment on my blog so that I would have some sort of idea of what is up.

Wouldn't that be nice????????????

To Blog or Not To Blog

I'm in a state of flux as to whether or not I should blog. On one hand, I feel the need to get my thoughts out. On the other hand, I'm feeling a bit unsure as to whether or not I REALLY want the blogging world to know what I'm presently thinking. I'm not so sure that I can write something that would make any sense to anyone else (I'm typically not one to set my "business" out there.....). I'm the one that simply likes to take in what others are saying as opposed to always getting my two cents into every conversation. I prefer to be the sponge, soaking it all in but not letting my own stuff out (thus the reason for "Cautious 1" in case you were wondering....I thought that title might be a dead give away but perhaps some of you didn't pick up on that). Anyway, where am I really going with this????

I've been in a rather reflective mood as of late....I would have to say it started on Thursday night. I'm in one of those moods where I want to just sit and talk for hours with my BFF to "let it all out". Let what all out, you ask???? Refer back to my opening line. You see, I'm really not sure what I want to say but I have a lot to say. It's one of those times where once I get going, I may never stop. Do you see the quandry that I'm in?? Some of you are probably thinking, "Get to the point!". My point is, is there really a definitve point that I'm trying to get to?????

Needless to say, I have a lot on my mind but I'm not sure where to begin. I'm in one of those "DEEP" moods, where I begin to get a bit philosophical. What's my true purpose here on earth?? That has been a recurring thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. Am I really where God wants me to be??? I have been extremely restless at night because I have been thinking so intently about this. The other night I was up for at least two hours after I turned out the lights and laid my head on my pillow, tossing and turning.

Other random thoughts that are running through my head are: Why is there so much anger and hatred in this world???? Why are so many people getting shot and killed?? Who can we trust these days?? Is anyone safe anymore?? Why are there so many natural disasters occurring (floods, fires, earthquakes, etc.)?? What will our future look like??? Do people still operate with a moral compass??? Have we gotten to the point in this world where anything goes, regardless of the impact it has on others???? Do we care what others think?????

I could go on and on and on. Sometimes the things "of this world" really, really frustrate me and it makes me think that things are so bleak. Thankfully I know that life here on earth is temporary and that life in heaven will be completely different. There will be no more pain and suffering, evil, hatred, fighting, unrest........God gives us the hope of eternal life. Amen!

John 14:6
" I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

To blog or not to blog, that is the question???

SUMMMER!

Summertime........

sunshine, the smell of brats and burgers on the grill, the sound of lawnmowers running, sun burned faces, the sound of kids splashing in the pool, gentle breezes blowing in the open windows, golfing, biking, reading, napping in the shade, the smell of sun tan lotion on little children, flip flops, shorts, tank tops, brightly colored clothes, dripping ice cream cones, baseball games, hot dogs, sno cones, Blizzards at Dairy Queen, picnics in the park, lazy days, beautiful flowers, butterflies, the sound of birds chirping outside of my window, trips to the lakefront, neighbors outside, driving on the freeway with my windows open and my hair flying around freely, State Fair, Summerfest, vacations, hanging out, no "To Do" lists, free time, sidewalk chalk, walks at dusk, fireflies, MOSQUITOS, ANTS, ice cold lemonade, corn-on-the cob, watermelon, ice cream sandwiches, fireworks, sleeping in, gardening, hikes in the park, camping, s'mores, roasted marshmallows, sand between your toes, walking barefoot on the grass, rainbows, clear blue skies, the sound of motorcycles whizzing down my street, lawn chairs, sprinklers, slip n slides, iced tea, music in the park, skinned knees, family, friends..............

Did I miss anything??????

What does it mean???

Belief...is defined as a conviction of the truth of some statement; it is a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or some thing.

Faith....is defined as a belief and trust in and loyalty to God; COMPLETE trust.

What does it mean when someone says that he or she "believes in God?" Growing up, I always "believed" that God existed. That's what my parents taught my siblings and I and that's what the Catholic priests told us every Sunday. I would tell others that I believed in God because I truly did. I also "believed" in the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, Saint Nick and Santa Claus. Eventually, I realized that, while those were all great concepts, they didn't really exist (sorry to disappoint anyone out there that still believes in these things. There is NO Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!!!!).

As I look at my life P.C. (that would be pre-Christian), what did it really mean when I said that I believed in God??? I knew that there was something out there that was far greater than me that I referred to as God. God always appeared to be a nice person, someone who would listen when I needed an ear. Someone that I would pray to when a loved one was sick or injured or sad. A person that I talked to when someone I knew died.

I believed that in order to please God, I needed to be a "good person". What is a "good person"? Is it someone who does what he or she is told?? A person who follows rules, respects others, does nice things for people when it's not really expected, goes to church on Sunday, is honest (minus a few "white" lies)?????? If I believe in God, does that mean that I "have to" or "should" go to church?? If I say that I believe in God, is it still O.K. to live my life any way that I want?? Can I go about my life just living according to "my rules" but continue this facade of saying that I believe in God?????

Fast forward to today....my faith life has changed completely (praise God!). Now when I say that I believe in God, I truly understand what it means. I understand what it means to have a personal, real relationship with our Creator because I now have one. I now know the sacrifice that was made for my sins to be forgiven.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

I know that God offers the gift of salvation through my faith in Him. I believe that Jesus died and was resurrected and that by trusting in God I will receive the gift of eternal life.
John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

In Romans, Paul tries to explain these very things to the believers that he encounters in Rome.
He tries to encourage the Roman believers to rely solely on God's grace for their salvation so they could understand how people can be made righteous and be transformed in their lives through Christ.

I BELIEVE in GOD?? Do you??????? What does it mean when you say that??????

Major Drought

As I was cutting my grass today, I thought that it would be a perfect time to have a little chat with God (I have been a major slacker in that department as of late. I fully intend to change that starting today). My thoughts were all over the place (imagine that, Ms. A.D.D. !!). I was doing some serious praying for a few things that have been troubling me as of late, one being the fact that I have a torn labrum (for those of you that don't know what that is or where it is, it's part of your shoulder near your rotator cuff). I have been going to physical therapy for approximately 3 weeks. I have definitely noticed a change in my ability to move my shoulder which is a good thing. I have one more week of physical therapy before I have my follow up appointment with my doctor.

My mind was racing with an array of different things related to my shoulder. What's going to happen at my doctor appointment?? Do I need to have surgery (there's a tear and it won't heal itself on its own)? If I need to have the surgery, when will I have it?? Is the physical therapy a stop-gap measure until I eventually have to go under the knife (or should I say under the microscope)??? Will I just continue to do physical therapy for however long the doctor tells me to???? It's my right shoulder and I'm a righty. How big of an impact will the surgery have on my ability to do everyday, basic things like getting dressed, showering, etc.??

When I was at my last appointment, my doctor told me that doing the P.T. was taking a conservative approach. Well, I'm ALL about conservative!!! What I have realized after doing the therapy for the past few weeks is that it is somewhat of an inconvenience because you have to find time to do it, it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination and there's times that I just don't feel like doing it! (I know that the P.T. is far better than the alternative, however!).

Sadly, what I realized throughout my conversation with God is that my physical therapy is at times like my prayer life. I go through these "droughts" (probably a poor choice of words since Wisconsin and other parts of the mid-west have been in the midst of major flooding for the past few weeks!) where I am not very diligent about praying, I don't devote ENOUGH time to what I consider "quality" prayer and I don't praise God nearly enough for all the blessings he has given me. I'm embarrassed to even say that!!! God has made the ultimate sacrifice for me and I can't find time in MY schedule to "fit Him in"!!!!! WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Physical therapy is by no means an easy task, nor is being a follower of Christ. It takes sacrifice, persistence, hard work, perserverance, patience, fortitude, desire, discipline, dedication, effort, strong will. There will be many trials and set backs along the way throughout the physical therapy, much like there is in my life as a Christian. Do I have it within me to perservere through the tough times and to turn EVERYTHING over to God?? Will I choose to do it on my own when I know that God is way bigger than me and He can do far greater things than I can ever even imagine. Instead of worrying about what will happen, will I turn to Him, the great healer, for comfort, healing and peace of mind???

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Psalm 86:10 "For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God."

I pray that my personal drought is over!