The End

5.....4.....3.....2......1......0.....The final buzzer sounds and everyone jumps around jubilantly, high fiving each other after the hard fought victory! We line up to shake hands, smiles abound as we congratulate the boys on the opposing team for a well-played game. The Lakers gather together for one final cheer and just like that, it is over.

The parents of each boy approach and offer their congratulations and thanks for a fun-filled season.."Will you be coaching the boys next year?", "Our son had a great time playing basketball this year!", "Thanks for everything coaches", "You are the best coaches that Ethan has ever had".......

Jacob makes his way over and says, "Thank You for everything". I tell him that it was a joy to coach him. A lump forms in my throat and I am unable to say another word. I turn away just as a tear falls from the corner of my eye. I am instantly overcome by a wave of emotion so I quickly locate the gym exit and walk out.

As I drive home, tears begin to stream down my cheek. My mind flashes back to the first day of practice and all the fun times that we had throughout the season. Each boy's name runs through my mind and I fondly recall little snippets from the past few months.

Didn't we just have our very first practice of the season?? Wasn't I just trying to remember each boy's name and a distinguishing feature so that I could address them by their first name?? Ethan, Alex, Collin, Owen, Parker, Dayton, Jacob, Jared, Troy, Sideesh, Danny......names on a roster, players on a team, familiar faces in a crowd. What will happen to our Laker teammates??? Will they continue playing basketball?? Did they learn something from us??? Did they have fun??? Will I ever see them again????

Just like that, it is over......................

I feel an emptiness inside me as I walk through my kitchen door. I know the sadness will pass with time as it always seems to do. Do I really wear my heart on my sleeve??? Is it that obvious?? I thought I was so good at hiding behind my tough exterior. The only one that I am fooling is myself. Is it better to have loved and lost or to never have loved at all??? The answer is obvious to me........why would I want to put myself through the pain and disappointment? Why would I allow myself to be so vulnerable?? Could I, would I allow someone else to get that close to me and be at risk for heartache and sorrow?? Is it REALLY bettter to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?????