Guatemala

Well, I can't believe that I leave for Guatemala on Tuesday! This trip seemed like it was so far away but here it is, less than 72 hours away. A lot of my time lately has been spent thinking about, praying about and packing for my trip. I was trying to avoid that last minute panic stricken feeling I always seem to get as the departure date draws near by packing a little bit each day. Somehow, despite my efforts, I think I will still feel that wave of panic on Monday night. I have to be at the airport at 4:00 A.M. (What???? Are the birds even up at that time???? I am not at all ashamed to admit that I am NOT a morning person, never have, never will be!). Our flight leaves out of Milwaukee at 5:30 A.M. I will be frantically setting about 6 alarms (and of course will be checking them about 10 times each to avoid missing my flight!). Actually, who am I trying to kid about being able to sleep....I can never sleep when I have to be up for something as important as this.

Many emotions have been running through my head over these last 4 weeks regarding this mission trip. I'm excited because I have always wanted to do this and am finally getting the opportunity to go on a mission trip. I'm nervous because I've never left the U.S. and I'm not the greatest traveler in the world (slightly OCD, o.k., more than just SLIGHTLY OCD). I'm anxious because I have not been feeling the best due to some health issues that I have been dealing with. I have been trying to get adequate rest in preparation for my upcoming adventure.

Psalm 139:23 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts"


With that being said, I have had some intense conversations with God lately. I want this trip to be about God and doing His work. I need to put my own concerns in God's hands and realize that He will equip me with whatever it is that I will need. I have been praying that I will completely trust God 100% with every single aspect of this trip.....safe travel, preparing my heart as well as our other team members heart's for what God has planned for us, being gracious to all those that we meet, allowing God to work through us and not letting our own "personal" agendas interfere with the bigger plan, seeing others through God's eyes and not my own, not allowing any personal biases to cloud my thoughts, giving of myself freely for the greater good of the mission and those that we are serving.


[Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."]


Everyone that I have talked to that has gone on a mission trip has said that it is a wonderful and life-changing experience. I welcome the change and am grateful for this opportunity to be a servant of God!


Stay tuned......I return from my trip on July 31st..........

Francisco

His name is Francisco, he lives in Brazil and he is 10 years old. Who, might you ask, is this boy from Brazil???? He is my new "friend" that I met through Compassion International (thanks to Amy B and her inspirational blog! If you have never heard of it, I encourage you to check it out on the web @ http://www.compassion.com/ ). I am so excited to start corresponding with Francisco. I received my package of information from Compassion International in the mail the other day and couldn't wait to open it! In it was a photo of Francisco with a little bio on him. Along with that, was the necessary information that I needed regarding my sponsorship of Francisco (I wonder if he would mind me calling him Frankie???? Just a random thought...............).

I CANNOT wait to send him my first letter. I have it written out but I need to find a picture of myself, which I am having a bit of trouble finding. That may sound a little strange, but all of my pictures are with people (it's been a while since I've had my pictures taken at "Glamour Shots" - yeah, right! Juuuuuuuuust kidding. Anyone that knows me, knows that I would get hives if I went within 5 miles of one of those places. No offense to anyone that works there or has gone there to get photos taken. The results truly are "glamorous" from what I have seen. It takes me a year to go through a tube of mascara so that just shows you how "Glamorous" I am). As soon as I locate a picture, I will be heading to my nearest post office to mail my letter. After my post office run, I will be making my way to the store to get a frame for Francisco!

If any of you have been following my posts with the slightest bit of regularity, you'll know of my recent struggles with my inability to sleep at night and my restlessness over where God really wants me to be. Suffice it to say, I've slept like a baby since "meeting" Francisco. Coincidence??????? I think NOT!

God is good!

Psalm 139:23

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."

This Scripture totally jumped out at me today and pretty much sums up where I have been emotionally. I spent another sleep less night last night, unable to get my mind to just settle down so that I could drift off to sleep.

I'm not really sure what is going on right now. As mentioned in yesterday's post, I am in a very restless place. Why, I don't really know. I'm not under any stress due to the fact that I am on summer vacation (Thank God for that!). There hasn't been any major, life-changing events that have occurred recently so I'm really at a loss where these feelings of anxiousness and unrest are originating from. I am extremely perplexed at where I am right at this very moment in time. Patience is not a strong suit of mine so waiting around for some sort of answer or epiphany for why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling is very difficult for me.

I will continue to pray and wait as I work through this uncertain time............I know that we are operating on God's watch, not my own Timex so I will simply have to continue to wait and wait and wait and try to find time to squeeze in a nap to make up for my lost sleep. I would really love it if He could shoot me an e-mail or comment on my blog so that I would have some sort of idea of what is up.

Wouldn't that be nice????????????

To Blog or Not To Blog

I'm in a state of flux as to whether or not I should blog. On one hand, I feel the need to get my thoughts out. On the other hand, I'm feeling a bit unsure as to whether or not I REALLY want the blogging world to know what I'm presently thinking. I'm not so sure that I can write something that would make any sense to anyone else (I'm typically not one to set my "business" out there.....). I'm the one that simply likes to take in what others are saying as opposed to always getting my two cents into every conversation. I prefer to be the sponge, soaking it all in but not letting my own stuff out (thus the reason for "Cautious 1" in case you were wondering....I thought that title might be a dead give away but perhaps some of you didn't pick up on that). Anyway, where am I really going with this????

I've been in a rather reflective mood as of late....I would have to say it started on Thursday night. I'm in one of those moods where I want to just sit and talk for hours with my BFF to "let it all out". Let what all out, you ask???? Refer back to my opening line. You see, I'm really not sure what I want to say but I have a lot to say. It's one of those times where once I get going, I may never stop. Do you see the quandry that I'm in?? Some of you are probably thinking, "Get to the point!". My point is, is there really a definitve point that I'm trying to get to?????

Needless to say, I have a lot on my mind but I'm not sure where to begin. I'm in one of those "DEEP" moods, where I begin to get a bit philosophical. What's my true purpose here on earth?? That has been a recurring thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. Am I really where God wants me to be??? I have been extremely restless at night because I have been thinking so intently about this. The other night I was up for at least two hours after I turned out the lights and laid my head on my pillow, tossing and turning.

Other random thoughts that are running through my head are: Why is there so much anger and hatred in this world???? Why are so many people getting shot and killed?? Who can we trust these days?? Is anyone safe anymore?? Why are there so many natural disasters occurring (floods, fires, earthquakes, etc.)?? What will our future look like??? Do people still operate with a moral compass??? Have we gotten to the point in this world where anything goes, regardless of the impact it has on others???? Do we care what others think?????

I could go on and on and on. Sometimes the things "of this world" really, really frustrate me and it makes me think that things are so bleak. Thankfully I know that life here on earth is temporary and that life in heaven will be completely different. There will be no more pain and suffering, evil, hatred, fighting, unrest........God gives us the hope of eternal life. Amen!

John 14:6
" I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

To blog or not to blog, that is the question???